Today started off as a good day. I woke up early-ish, putzed around the house, played my video game, took a shower, and then went out shopping. I bought some Christmas gifts and some comics for myself. I made plans with my friend Erica to go hang out. It was all good until I got home, that’s when things went terribly wrong.

My mom and the rest of my family, who is up here due to thanksgiving, was at some cheerleading thing for one of my niece’s. I was waiting for them to come home to have dinner so I could make my way to E’s house to hang out and just say hello. My brother’s dog (a Great Dane named Jasmine) was in the house and I was outside having a cigarette. Now I really don’t understand why they have to fuckin lug this dog around with them every time they come here. There is a woman that lives close to them that will watch her. Anyway sorry I’m rambling I’m still pissed and upset from earlier.

As I said I was outside smoking a cigarette and I noticed that somehow there was a Squirrel inside my enclosed screened in area around the pool. So I opened the door to let the squirrel out and out of nowhere the dog goes barreling out the screen door. Normally this wouldn’t be a problem, but due to the hurricanes one portion of our fence is gone.

So I go tearing after the dog screaming her name at the top of my lungs for her to stop and come back. Now I live right off a very busy road and the dog is ten million times faster than I am. But the dog goes running, so I go running. I loose my slippers and keep running, I am running out of breath, my chest feels as if it’s going to explode, and my throat is on fire from screaming at jasmine and I feel as though I’m going to have a very bad heart attack. She has made it out to the very busy road by now and I’m running (still) to try and get her. There are cars going so fast down the road, and im just hoping the dog has enough sense not to try and cross the road.

Well she doesn’t, and she tries, and she gets hit. Now I am behind her, and I see all of this. I’m already in a very frenzied state of mind. I watched her get hit and hear her yelp and I fuckin lost it. I started screaming and crying for the fucking dog to just stop and come back.

Now the guy who hit her stops on the side of the road and wants to tell me he slowed down and she should be fine. but WHEN HE FUCKING GOT OUT OF HIS FUCKING PICKUP TRUCK ALL THE STUPID MOTHER FUCKER COULD DO WAS LOOK AT HIS DAMN CAR LIKE THE DOG WOULD HAVE FUCKING DENTED IT OR SOMETHING. HE DIDN’T EVER APPOLOGIZE FOR HAVING HIT THE DOG. HE GOT OUT AND LOOKED AT HIS FUCKING BUMPER THE GOD DAMN ASSHOLE!

Now the dog, I don’t know how mind you, was apparently ok. Because she took off again. And this time she was somewhere in the neighborhood. I was out of breath all the way down at the other end of my neighborhood, I didn’t have my phone on me cuz I wasn’t planning on this evening going so horribly like this so I start running (yet again) down the street to get home so I can get my shoes on and my keys so I can find the dog.

I’m screaming for my dad to come and help me find her cuz she has been hit is all I can think of. You see in my mind she was dead and it was my fault for having opened the door. Even tho I saw her run off away from the street all I could think of was that she was dead.

Well I get home, and I tell my dad what happens and I grab my keys and I get in the car and I start looking in the neighborhood and I was probably going too fast but I was panicked and I hadn’t yet calmed down. I didn’t see the dog. My dad and I must have looked for a good forty minutes or so for the dog and I gave up all hope of ever seeing her again, alive anyway.

Before it was all over I screamed at an old lady, cuz at the moment she was REALLY pissing me off. my mom, my brother and his wife, and had been screaming at my dad. tho I didn’t really mean any of it. I was so upset I couldn’t see straight or even think in a straight line. I was crying and in so much pain cuz I had ran so much and at such a fast pace for quite a distance and was screaming. It was awful.

The rest of the family got home my brother and his wife go looking for the dog but not before the wife asks me a stupid question and I blow up at her again. I stopped looking. I went to my room and turned on the tv. And I stayed in my room, I needed to calm down I needed to relax I needed to make my heart stop beating ten thousand miles a minute. They found the dog after about an hour and a half. And she appears to be ok; however I am still not ok. I hurt all over and what’s worse is my heart hurts for having screamed at all the people I love and a woman I have known for ages. I will live tho.

Btw Erica im sorry I missed hanging out with you. I’ll make it up to you.